Ahoy hoy everyone, and as someone once nearly said, welcome
to the most interesting read of your life.
This is the first ever newsletter for members of the Internet
It has three main purposes;
- firstly, to act as a gathering place for those facts
and events that can so easily be overlooked in the hurly
burly of everyday life on one of the most used message boards
in the history of mankind.
- Secondly, to update you, the oh so attractive member,
on changes, additions and improvements coming soon to your
favourite web site.
- Then to act as a permanent home for bit and pieces of
news and views from the site that might otherwise become
lost and provide links to external sites where a whole galaxy
of Treehouse related hoopla is stored. So, to business..
FROM LITTLE ACORNS LARGE TREEHOUSES GROW
For any newcomers the History of the Treehouse can be found
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN PLEASE WELCOME:
The roll call of those who have climbed the rope ladder since
1/1/2003 and posted are:
Brian's Knee Surgeon
Definately not Tom
The Amorous Humphrey Plugg
Tony Blair PM
john n london
Bill E Blunt
Walt the Fanboy
The London Dungeoness
GONNA CLIMB A MOUNTAIN:
Since the 1st.of January there have been a total of over
720 new threads launched on the message board.
Deserving of special mention are these fine specimens, which
have grown triffid like to reach a truly staggering number
What's on your CD Player (24 Pages)
If you could be another Treehouser (19 Pages)
Word Association (14 Pages)
Previous Line (12 Pages)
Also, and without the slightest hint of malice, special mention
to these threads that managed the increasingly difficult feat
of attracting a grand total of zero replies.
The downside with being so popular (Webmiester)
Treehouse Flag Results (Jimmy Hill's Monkey)
With apologies to Rocking Vicar subscribers(Sir David Attenborough)
Six Feet Under (Bill Dukenfield)
Finally since the start of the year we've added over fifity
audio clips to the Site for your pleasure. Among the highlights
Football Pitch marked out in Vim
Kelly reads a truly terrifying letter
Jobs for Football Managers
about Christian Gross
Brando and Pineapple rings
Bill Shatner being directed
Flies flying planes
"It's all right, I'm Mark I'm Swedish"
SOMEBODYS WATCHING ME:
Since the ugly scenes of last October the message board has
been under the watchful eye of four tree surgeons.
Working independently of the Webmeister, these foolhardy souls
watch over the daily doings of the board to make sure that
nobody oversteps the (fairly loose) boundaries of taste and
behaviour that weve set ourselves, and try to keep the
streets of the Treehouse safe to walk.
They also monitor and respond to whistleblower
alerts. Even the most devoted of moderator cant watch
every post, all day, every day. By clicking the small "Notify
Moderator" icon underneath a post, any member is able
to bring to the attention of all of the Surgeons any post
that they feel is not in the spirit of the place.
Since its introduction a total of 12 whistleblower
alerts have been received, almost all relating to one specific
thread (can you guess which one?).Each one has been investigated
and, where necessary, appropriate action has been taken.
If at any time you feel that the spirit of the Treehouse
is not being adhered to please dont hesitate to use
this function. The best form of censorship is self-censorship.
THE FUTURES SO BRIGHT, IVE GOTTA WEAR SHADES:
Coming soon to a Treehouse near you
Already up and running is the fantastic Danplayer.
The idea is simple, the Danplayer can run under any other
programme on your PC and will play a selection of clips, both
new and old, chosen at random from the thousands of audio
files held on the Treehouses database.
So, as you write your thank you letters to dozens of demented
aunties, you can enjoy the outpourings of Britains finest
radio host, effortlessly and for free.
The new message board launched on 23rd March. It is faster
and has more bells and whistles than it's predecessor whilst
retaining all the charm and mystique for which it is famous.
A new feature on the Forum is the member ranking system.
Based purely on the number of posts made, each member has
a rank displayed under their name each time they post. These
rankings have been custom designed to reflect the Bakeresque
world that we inhabite, and are as follows:
1.....................New Kid In Town
2 ....................Footsoldier In The Service Of the Treehouse
50 ..................Solid Citizen
100 ................Stout Yeoman
200 ................Respected Member of the Parish
500 ................A gentleman, a scholar....
750 ................An Acrobat!
1000 .............A Prince Amongst Men
1100 .............A Wizard, A True Star
1500 .............Sir Postsalot
2000 .............A Legend, a Great, a God
2500 .............King Of The World
3000 .............The Grand Vizier of Postdom
4000 .............Lord of the Treehouse Universe
Most Posts...Exalted Grand Pooh-Bah of the Treehouse
The idea is to honour those obsessed souls who, by virtue
of their prolific posting, keep the message board as fresh
and interesting as a fresh and interesting thing, and to maybe
encourage the less forthcoming to add their wit and insight
to the cut and thrust of topical debate (and shocking puns)
on a more regular basis.
You also may have noticed the recent additions of Thread of
the Week and Thread of the Weak Forums. Here we will permanently
archive the very best and the most "left field"
posts of the past seven days, chosen by the winner of the
Coming soon: the Treehouse's own Chatroom
INTO EACH LIFE, SOME RAIN MUST FALL
Life on the Treehouse hasnt always been a bed of roses
over the past few months. Some good friends have departed,
seemingly never to return. This is not the place to dwell
on the events of The Great Sundering, but for those interested
a comprehensive history is available
here. It also contains links to some historical documents
as well as the thoughts of some of those involved.
Alternatively a much shorter and it has to be said, a much
more light hearted version can be found
FOR YOUR LISTENING PLEASURE
Work is currently underway on providing a semi-regular CD
based aural update of Dannys most recent shows for those
living outside the range of BBC LDNs 25 watt transmitter,
and those unable to listen over the web. The first phase of
this began recently with the Happy Songs, Sad Songs and Best
Of Xmas Specials. For more information please contact
AND IN CONCLUSION
Thank you for the time taken to read this newletter.Your
reactions, reflections and good natured abuse would be welcome.
Any contributions for the next issue would also be gladly
received at this address.
The Treehouse remains free to use and open to everyone. The
messageboard is the heartbeat of the place, if you visit frequently
but have yet to post drop into the Leaf and Pun and say hi!
soon. Once that tricky first post is out the way it becomes
If youre a regular poster already, well the race is
on to be the first to 5000 posts. An honour surely worth pursuing.
Thank you all for your continued support and enthusiasim,
only through your involvement and sheer brilliance can the
Treehouse continue to prosper and grow. A very sincere thank
you to you all.
Special thanks to AndyF for his help with the above