Danny Bakers Internet Treehouse

Joanne answers all your questions including:-

The longest she's been celibate

Danny Kelly or Danny Baker?

Exotic Shoots & Beau on Beau action?

Shag, marry or push off a cliff...?

Do you ever think the sexual act is disgusting?


Hugo Z Hackenbush
Is it true one of your more flowing locked beaux had your name tattooed on his arse, and have any other players tried to wind him (or any of the others) up during games by dropping the odd subtle hint?
Also, what was the full story of the caught in the coach incident/where was it (I think it was God's Own Ground Upton Park).

True, beau 3 does have my name tattoed on his arse, inside a love heart, I remember it was a very touching moment when he first showed me, I told him to piss off though when he asked me to get his name done.
The full story on the coach incident was this...I wanted sex, beau 3 was there, the coach was there and empty, everything was going according to my plan until the most jobsworth, bold old bastard of a steward starting bashing on the windows and threatning to report me, thankfully beau 3's manager does have a sense of humour on such things, but I did get an official warning..it was an hour before the match you see!..the ground was...?!

Do you sometimes think the sexual act is a bit disgusting?
Also, what's the longest period of time you've been celibate? (rounded up to the nearest minute)?

Do I think the sexual act is ever disgusting?...only when with non premier league footballers...I was once celibate for about 8 hours, I got stuck on the M1.

How good a footballer would Luke (the new Peter Beardsley) Chadwick have to turn out to be before you'd accept "Something Fluffy" from him?

Sorry as I have been out the country for a while I don't know who Luke Chadwick is...but I would except something fluffy from anyone!

Simon T.
When you told B&K you'd sleep with 'one of you', which one?
Also, Davinia Taylor - a threat?

I truly would sleep with one of the Dans, it of course being Danny B.,
Nobody is a threat as there are plenty of footballers for all.

Dear Joanne, I just wondered if you would like to do an exotic shoot for me & the boys in the "Tree House" Nothing too wild mind. We could even arrange for a "fuzzy" or maybe even "fluffy" disguise for you. I was thinking about superimposing a picture of Dan to disguise your identity, but love him though I do, this might not have the same effect. I have web space available, a camera & all the technical skills needed to produce & publish your pictures, should I be unfortunate enough draw the short straw, but if not, have you got any interesting photos you could forward to me, I mean us…forward to us.

Sorry but my 'exotic shoot' days are in the past, although to suppliment my income as a Premier league barmaid I posed for several magazines..the pictures are out there (Playboy from about 1998/1999!!!)

Cuthbert J Twillie
Joanne, I really think that you should commit your(s)exploits to some form of record book, video, tape etc. I for one am available to help you recreate any images that you wish to include purely for educational purposes you understand and not because I like pleasuring ladies, give me a call Joanne, you know it makes sense.

Dear Cuthbert J. Twillie...get signed buy a high proifile club anywhere in Europe and we can talk.

Shag, marry or push off a cliff? David Mellor, Ken Bates, Graham Kelly?

Mellor, Bates & Kelly should all be pushed of a cliff, I met Ken Bates once and he was the grizzliest, bearded old sod you could ever wish to meet, foul breath too
Mr. Sitter
When Beaux 1 & 2 'grabbed hold of each other' during the Wembley-goal-re-enacted-with-a-Ferrero-Rocher night, just how far did the lads go?

Oh dear, I was actually never supposed to mention 1 & 2 grabbing hold of each other on the air, I told that to Jamie in confidence! but in their defence they were drunk and stoned and it never went beyond snogging and fumbling...quite a sight to see though.

Red Vixen
Ever had/considered a foray with someone who 'plays for your side'? Any thoughts as to helping launch the Red Vixen web page by posing with myself in a pair of Playboy style Fox outfits? (okay guys, no more cash for questions please...)

I have had several lesbian relationships, or course I have! I was on with my friend the night I met Danny at TFI......why would I be wearing Fox outfits?!!!

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