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It's actually a mad Mother in law. Now we're back to absolute fact….It's Mother's Day, so of course we're doing , how nuts is your Mum, go on?

This is my husband's Mum, she was trying to stop her son from breast-feeding; she tried everything and nothing worked. In the end, she started drawing scary faces on her breasts.

No! (LAUGHTER IN THE STUDIO) Oh come on. I've been doing theses how nuts is your mum stories quite a while; we've had some really nuts Mums, but we've never had anyone tattoo ogres, some say monsters on their bosoms.

How old was the kid…….about thirty -five? What kind of faces? Now I'm thinking nipples is always a nose isn't it? Is that what she did?

Scary monsters like Dracula and men's faces with an eyebrow pencil.

She had the bosom, she took some kind of marker, some kind of felt-tip pen?

No, she used like her eyebrow pencil.

Laurie - Of course it would come off, a marker wouldn't.

I don't know if I'd want it washed off, I think there might be some action there.

Now did she form one face out of the both of them, because you could have that kinda headlight thing going on? No, separate faces. But did it work?

No, it made it more interesting!


Oh and my husband's just saying that she put a hairnet on top as well.

No! I think this woman's protesting too much. Please forgive me here, but if you stumble across you know, God forbid, this mother with faces painted on her upper torso - "Mum, what's going on?"

"Mmm, I was trying to scare the kid off my breasts…"

I'd think there was something going on there. I think the Father in law knows………….I think he might have a little twinkle in his eye. What's her name by the way?


Pat, the woman with monsters on her teets.

LAUGH Now that really is a how nuts is your Mum story and I hope that doesn't put people off entering our free to enter competition.

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